Not All Thrives

It has often been said that there are two sides of a coin. I believe that those two sides, the head and tail are the tamed parts. When tossed, we continually bet on the landing of either but never the third option.

The ignored part gears it to a third possibility, that of rolling away and disappearing. A certainty we never want to agree with. Do you want to lose a coin after investing time and energy to earn it? I don’t.

You could call us inseparable, back then. This is not to mean that we lingered in each others air 24 hours a day but when we met, we became glued. In embraces that intertwined our individual ribs.

We first met in a club that we had both subscribed to. A check in our boxes for we shared similar interests. One way or the other, we began talking, sending notes and all other sorts of communication the rest found corny.

She could draw and I had a pretty good handwriting. We sought the other’s comfort in times of difficulty and offered our shoulders when one of the pair was triggered to cleanse their eyes.

By the looks of disapproval we received (read jealousy), you can conclude it was a relationship made in paradise. The garden of Eden stage, Eve and Adam type. Until the serpent infiltrated and fed her from the forbidden fruit.

People read more into our exchanges. The chocolates, the thoughtful cards and what-nots. A lesbo thing was with no doubt going on between us. We knew being soulmates is not gender based, we did not shout about it.

It started with small signs. First, the pendant attached to the necklace she gifted me, fell off. I remember the day I found it. I was carrying on my own businesses when I saw it within my possessions.

Black with a gold-coloured pendant with a letter representing a universal emotion.

There was no note. My first thought wasn’t of her. I decided it was from someone else until days later. She finally queried if I had received what she left me. I got it, I informed her. A tight hug followed the revelation.

I kept the pendant. Our conversation levels slowly dropped. It was the mornings, missing a goodnight reply and ultimately getting a reply 48 hours after if not more. You know how that feels, don’t you?

That pattern progressed to a point we totally forgot the existence of the other. In this case, friend ghosting was very necessary. On my part at least.

On one of her social media accounts, she posted that she had lost a parent. Oh no, that cannot happen to her! It will leave her devastated, broken. I put all the hurt of her abandonment aside and sought her.

It’s okay. I will be fine don’t worry babe, she responded. Strength, a very important factor to possess in such hardship, a time of trial. A new wave washed over us but it was weak, I couldn’t feel its power.

I don’t how we stopped talking, she mentioned at some point. I wanted to break it down and outline at every step exactly how it happened. I decided there was no gain in pointing her wrongs. I let her back into my life.

A weather of calmness settled over fragments of our old friendship. Little did I know, she was taking a break from her pals who she occasionally bitched then ditched for a while before coupling up for Tuesday pizzas.

I couldn’t blame her. It was a game only those in the field knew how to maneuver around tactically.

I was a temporary comfort. We both knew I would welcome her with open arms and let her reign in the constancy I provided. She loved that fact and I loved that she loved the safety I so graciously granted her.

The grace period soon terminated. She left without notice once more back to the jungle of the lifestyle I did not profess with her. It was over and I erased all forms of contact with her. Except the necklace…

It had so much become part of me that I couldn’t bear the thought of being without it. Not for a minute. Three years on, it was around my neck choking me, convincing myself it was a symbol of what was.

Fate had other plans. As I was walking early this year, it released itself. I only noticed little black beads covering my path. I touched my neck to confirm my suspicion. The finality to holding on what couldn’t be.

As the fish struggles to get back into the water, she flipped vigorously in my hands. She earned her freedom and I watched as her tail submerged in the body that ‘gives’ her life. The one she craves.

I’m saying no to your perfunctory relationship. Goodbye toxic friend. The three sides of a coin.

 

Advertisements

33 Comments Add yours

  1. babueliazar says:

    Three sides of a coin….indeed. Perfect!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Three concrete sides๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Music Chauffeur says:

    Life stories
    We’ll never erase the fake completely, they’ll always be there๐Ÿ˜Š
    That was a great piece ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They are always looming, not near us but not too far either.
      Thank you MC.

      Like

  3. As usual, your writing is like an expensive massage.

    The question of friendship. And this is one of its answer.

    It’s good that you’re empowered?

    Wait…

    How is your circle right now?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, You

      I don’t have a circle ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Maybe a square, a triangle ๐Ÿ˜

        Liked by 1 person

      2. A line sounds more applicable

        Like

      3. Mmh. I understand your line.

        Like

      4. Are you positive?

        Like

  4. The fake feathers must be shade off swiftly.. It’s just tormenting to keep fake people around any longer

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is very true. Letting go of what can’t stay

      Like

  5. lolyneongeri says:

    We all have those suckers, at one point. They are like vines on a tree, chocking the life out of you. Glad you got rid of that one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To get rid of them at the right time before they choke the life out of you is important

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Derrick says:

    ๐Ÿ˜‰ A big fan in making….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lau says:

    That necklace………….

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Look at this girl ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Like

  8. Lau says:

    That necklace……….

    Like

  9. Okay, now you have a third side! Anyway wonderful post Rehema.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Like

      1. You most welcome. Hope you wonderful

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m well, busied up though

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s great to hear. I’m good too

        Liked by 1 person

  10. nastehafarah says:

    Had missed your posts!! Glad I got the notification ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have so many drafts, I can’t seem to go beyond the fourth paragraph though, I forced myself through this one๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข

      Like

      1. nastehafarah says:

        Take it easy,Iโ€™m sure youโ€™ll finish them! Youโ€™re always worth the wait,youโ€™re sooo good!โค๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Let’s pray and hope

        Like

  11. victor says:

    That third side of the coin๐Ÿ‘

    Liked by 2 people

  12. There are always fake friends thats true but this is just an amazing piece

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The sooner they are out, the better

      Thank you ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s