In lower primary, standard six was the level everyone looked up to. In high school, it was form three. It is not theoretical that we all love to get a deeper understanding of our bodies. The topic reproduction caused different reactions amongst the learners. In primary school, it was mere basics which I brushed off and laughed along with my peers. What were these Science teachers teaching us? Menstruation, broad shoulders, ejaculation! Why do we need to learn these ‘creepy stuff’? A few years later in high school, I was crying when the topic reproduction came. Two, three years later here I am studying Human Sexuality that I find extremely intriguing. My life cycle in absorbing knowledge is very complicated.
After learning reproduction in primary, as each day went by, I waited for my hips to broaden. Isn’t that what they said would happen at that age? No change. During the holidays, I would watch my aunt in her skirts. There was a bit of the figure eight in her. I didn’t want more, that would be enough. I resulted to prayers. I would mumble to God to bless me with ‘the figure’. I always noticed my granny’s bum (I know😂😂) but it was never included in my prayers. I only needed the figure, if Science had mentioned it somewhere then maybe I would have included it in my list too.
For a while, I thought the good Lord had forsaken me. That particular box of requests wasn’t being responded to despite the much pressure, persistence and consistency involved. On a particular evening before the night preps in high school, my roommates began comparing who had the hips and who didn’t. I watched them as they pulled back their skirts and began flaunting their shapes to one another. As a mono, I wasn’t sure I should participate and I didn’t, I stayed on my side of the room. Perhaps they wouldn’t see what I have or think I do. I avoided the embarrassment or recognition that would have arose from the same.
I was wrong to think that was the only encounter I would face with this figure business. It has become too much of a big deal. Once, a guy I refused to visit and sleep with threw in a text that made me want to go directly to his place anyway and shove my ass in his face.
Unaringa na vile hata huna haga.
He was from JKUAT😂😂.
Before I could realize what was going on around me, socialites had emerged and nudes of their big fat butts were strewn all over the internet. Minaj added to the craze by releasing Anaconda. It was such a frenzy. (I knew I should have ignored my aunt and focused on granny instead (what was done had been done))! I hadn’t taken in all the socialites in Kenya, leave alone East Africa when social media networks were filled with “may the tummy become flatter and my ass get fatter” captions to go along with the picture-posting of the ‘celebs’. I became disturbed. Those setting standards of perfection had added the flat tummy to the behind and perfect figure. The squats came in. Enhance ‘what your mama gave you or you can’t shake it’ most proven formula. You Tube videos got top ratings on how to get the squats right. I couldn’t keep up. A ‘good body’ has all insanities going on around it. I’m focusing on fitness.
Those who were quick enough to start businesses or invest in enhancers (either ointments, injections or the readily available models) are making it big. No one wants to be told amepigwa pasi na Mungu to refer to their lack of assets below the back.Woe unto you if you have the huge assets but ni ngumu. You will be roasted. The secret is in them being wobbly (licks lips loudly).
I grew up wanting to take up a course in Journalism. I was split between editing and becoming a news anchor. A classmate of mine always encouraged me by saying I had the face for it. I accepted the compliments as they came but quietly wondered to myself, there is a face for qualification?
I am now studying Psychology (out of my own choice) and it hits me there is a problem with our society. Tune into various channels during news hour and you will witness what I am talking about. Ask for a description of the female anchors and you will hear hot, sexy and the other close cousins to those terms. Some men confess to ‘juicing’ themselves while the presenters stand to reveal ‘mavitu’ wamebeba. Those who start out while dark eventually end up with a lighter tone as if the lights in the studio are absorbed into their skin.
A certain lady who dreams of owning her own media house in the near future reveals that she is motivated by the discrimination she faced while job hunting. She shares that some people were reluctant to hire her because of her skin tone. Dark skin is not good for business, do you hear that? Neither is a figure less female. I hope to relive my dream of news casting once Magot has her own media house.
Shouldn’t there be a margin error where these issues are regulated not to get out of hand?