Do You Masturbate?

Hello, do you masturbate?
You don’t?
Neither do I!

End of post.
How many times have you heard the term masturbation? I bet the context in which you did was condemning it. It is wrong, ungodly, you were adviced against the addiction side of it. It is highly linked to pornography so if it happens you are involved in masturbation then you are definitely stuck to porn. Nobody wants to be identified with that. The rules as they go, Do Not Have Sex Before Marriage and Do not Masturbate. Easy peasy. Two commandments to keep you going, the latter is unwritten but often drummed into our subconscious somehow. If your hormones are raging, kneel down and pray.
Do you masturbate? Actually the question should be, should you masturbate?
As a staunch person who professes to one of the religions of the world, you have already stopped reading this sick writing. She’s leading us into sin yet we are heaven-bound. Shetani ashindwe!
I have suffered from Dysmenorrhea ever since my periods came knocking down my “you-know-what”. Lol! As you can imagine, every suffering person has to go out of their way to get some relief, right? Over the years, it has always been painkillers for me. I started with Buscopan, the official cramps pills prescribed to everyone in period pain whether mild or strong. It worked for a while until it didn’t. My body ended up forming a resistance mechanism against them. On to the recommendations of a hot water bottle. I have tried that method only once. You are not required to make such a big deal out of cramps when you are a grown ass woman. Society.
I mourn my pain. I make sure everyone within my radius knows what I’m going through. Isn’t womanhood supposed to be beautiful? Since it isn’t as flowery for me as it should be, I whine a lot. For all the right reasons of course and to the right humans. Last week, a friend recommended masturbation to stop my painful period. Cringe!
First things first. I have never masturbated. I don’t own a dildo (wouldn’t know where to get one) and most importantly, I can’t imagine myself getting down there and doing it. How do you even start? Nothing against those who do. This friend of mine, I couldn’t believe him despite my habit of keeping many male friends as they are well vast in female matters. Therefore, I took myself to the mother of all knowledge, Google. While there I confirmed his theory..
Masturbation could solve my problem. However, it may work in one woman and not the other. If it doesn’t work for you, you are among the few women it shouldn’t. The simple advice given was to ensure you have a towel handy. You can imagine the menstruation content and the end result of a successful masturbation, quite messy. You do need a towel if you decide to go down this road, trust me.
You can also masturbate if your partner (if you do have one) can’t give you those orgasms. It turns out that some of us ladies are meant for self pleasure. There are the crazy ones who will use food items to attain this, which I won’t mention because you know more than I do (wink wink). It is dangerous and very unhealhy. The ER is too congested to attend to such unspeakable tragedies. Plus you can’t handle the stigma. We are in Africa.
I find it hard to believe any man who says they have never jacked off. Men are visual beings and is it possible that one lives without experimenting what the veined-tail at the front of their bodies could do besides discharging urine? Think about it. Women are more conservative and fewer of us stick our fingers to get a lick of the honey in the pot. Yes.
Masturbation could help you discover a great deal about who you are sexually. We are sexual beings, made from sex, live to eventually have sex, we humans. And if you can’t have great sex, you end up falling to the traps of masturbating. If you are in no monstery.
Overall, this form of stimulatory arousal is s big no no for people in relationships, whether short term or life long strengthened with vows. Hand jobs to erect and occasional fingering for lubrication are allowed but that is all people. Your spouse satisfying themselves in your presence or absence stings, they will no longer have an ache for you. You can’t want that.
As you lie down later today and use those fingers, hands or lotion on your genitalia. Reconsider.


13 Comments Add yours

  1. carletto777 says:

    Loved reading.Don’t agree with all.
    Just a male point of view.
    Made fascinating reading.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Vitaly says:

    Facts not Fictions,I love it that way RiRi…And yes I have masturbated at one point in my life…It’s a free world…😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is too much of a free world


  3. Silah says:

    It does have to be as entertaining enjoyable and educative .dope🐦


  4. A good read, beneath underneath, wealth

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha! A veined-tail. I guess was that day. The day that was to come. Where genitals and their capabilities were to be brought to light.

    I will not talk about masturbation. Atleast not today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t wait for the day you will be talking about it


  6. nastehafarah says:

    I don’t think you meant this post to be funny but I laughed quite a bit😂..
    Entertaining as always

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for always reading

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ricky Nderitu says:

    you are full of surprises

    Liked by 1 person

    1. People love surprises!


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