The ‘beautiful’ side

I was up late last night despite the fact that I got into the house a few minutes to 10pm. It was the first time I ever got in so late. I was attending the Financial Society of K.U.’s election of new officials. My friend Geoffrey got the Presidency, congratulations! I couldn’t sleep soundly after the supper which didn’t leave me satisfied. I was waiting for the pain. A little of it. But it didn’t come. I stayed in bed till 7:40 am hoping on anything but still I got out of it very disappointed. Where’s my pain? Where the hell is my dose of pain? I want it bad. I need it.
As I don’t keep track of them on period calendars or apps, I try and count in my mind to know when next they will come. As you can tell, this is a not-very efficient method hence the two of us just meet anywhere anyhow. Between schedules, meetings, whenever my partner in womanhood decides to show up. It is always a relief to hear from her though it is not a very stable partnership. My first sigh is always I am not pregnant. The silliest being next to man is a woman. Whether having sex or not, they wait up on that time of the month to give them their ultimate confirmation. We love nature.
I sat around sulking, I have said barely 40 words from morning. I hate today. First and foremost because I have classes to attend yet all I want to do is lay in bed and have a boyfriend or his competitor throw a junk party for me solo. I would love that. While having my period last month, I feasted on ice cream, chocolate and all these sweet things of life and guess what? Pain avoided me. I think the solution for me has finally been found. I should bid Dysmenorrhea goodbye. All I need now is someone to treat me like the Queen I am.
After my breakfast, the pain slowly set in. I lied down for a few minutes then braced myself to continue with the episode of the series I’m on. I also read a few pages of Discovering Statistics Using SAS. I am especially hungry during this time and I had lunch at 11, not even two hours had passed since breakfast. I had to take a pill for the pain because of my classes in the afternoon, can’t miss them because of bloody periods. No difference with being pregnant, I would easily pass for that. These two are very expensive situations. You have to buy sanitary pads, tampons (if you use these), medicine (if you experience pain), junk (to keep you going and offer some consolation as well as serve the cravings that tag along). Both ending at menopause. Depending on the individual.
I want to be alone. I don’t want to go out. I remember cancelling G’s date once because I couldn’t hang out in this situation. He said he didn’t mind and wouldn’t talk about it. He added that I was well ‘plastered’ hence there will be no issues. I said no. I was highly uncomfortable. What if a drop messed my clothes? What if an explosion happened on my insides and I covered everyone in my reds? Obviously, I was having wild imaginations of the impossible. Being as sweet as he is, he bought me food and let me go home. To nurse my ‘shedding eggs’.
Anyone else want to buy me food? I promise, I’m hungry😑😑
A woman is smart in the days prior to and during her periods. It’s some kind of reward for the torment I guess. That is why me yesterday was very active in the Human Sexuality class. I was feeling quite bold. I wanted to let my class know of Endometriosis. I wanted to tell the lecturer to have a seat and watch me preach. I had it all laid out. As if reading my thoughts, she chose me to do a little presentation. That is not what I wanted. If she asked what I was thinking, I would feed her and all the other souls and spirits living in bodies that were present with what I know of Endometriosis. Everyone needs this information.
Meet me today. All the energy has been sucked from me. I don’t know what has happened. I was excited for a minute to think that I would have a ‘normal’ menstruation. Like the other girls. I’m really hungry. I’m not sure what to eat either. I am insatiable at the moment, you are welcome to try. I am waiting up on a class of my favourite unit yet I’m hating to go. I hate everyone and everything. Plus I don’t want to talk to anyone. Mood swings.
I feel dumb. I should really get some food. And someone should be warned in advance of asking me to smile. I don’t want to. Plus I am not making these moods sway like this. Can we just go along with what is coming? It will be over in 4 days. Not even a week. I should be feeling beautiful. But I am not. Do I even want to feel beautiful? Beautiful for whom? Anything with a willy is hated right now, human or animal. I don’t like animals anyway.
There is no beautiful side to this. Not even once. Not for me.

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4 thoughts on “The ‘beautiful’ side

  1. Giirrll there’s nothing like a “normal” period😂..we girls,..all of us (I think)tend to go through a million and one emotions in a span of a day😂..As a matter of fact,I’m feeling my “pain”right now…maybe I should start warning those around me😂

    Liked by 1 person

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