My Instagram Love

Whoevers bad idea it was for me to join Instagram should take it back. It is a waste of data bundles and being as stingy as I am, I rarely log in. I can’t. Unless I’m under Wi-Fi or someone is generous enough to switch on their hot-spot for me(still Wi-Fi), it is the most rarely used application on my phone. It is present on my application list as a beautification purpose mainly, rather for any of its stipulated uses.
I used be instagram struck(I’m kinda born in the correct century). During this period, I would picture my first born child’s account having a million plus followers. This is ironical because I am no ‘slay queen’ and I barely have a thousand followers myself (let’s laugh together 😂😂). I would have been a busy mother, in labour pains but asking my supposed hubby to tag along the camera. He would film as the tiny boy or girl came out. That smeary picture would open up his or her instagram account. Thereafter, I will religiously update pictures until he or she is of age to post his or her own selfies and manage the account. I can’t believe I was thinking of this too!
I thought Instagram was everything. The time I went to my former high school to pick my certificate, an old roommate asked me how life was on the outside. I replied in the affirmative. Then she took another step and questioned whether I had hit 1000+ followers on Instagram. I answered her in the negative, a stiff laugh later, I ran away from her. She would spread the disease on to me. I did not want to have additional lifestyle ailments.
Somehow, I tumbled on to his account. He has a couple thousand followers, bordering 20k or above. That is not what I am after whenever I click on his handle.. A fine looking young man. You know the type of Greek gods? Yes.
He is light in complexion (I have come to realize I am into light skin guys though they are branded ‘fuckboys’), he has brown eyes, the eyebrows I like. Every single look at his posts and I see perfection. I doubt he has scars. He is flawless. He knows how to ride a bicycle (I can’t, hopefully he will teach me), photography is his life, he loves good food, travelling, his life is filled with so much fun. I wish he would consider taking me on one of his adventures.
I happen to know where he resides (not the exact house but the location is something😏), I know his school too. I have thought, planned and replanned of how I could get there and get a glimpse of him in real life. But that means putting tags on him to know his exact location and I am afraid of facing stalking charges. Crazy things people do for love. No, I am not in love with him but the idea of it. It is like toying. This isn’t a fling either (till the day we will meet face to face). Let’s title it a crush. A hopeless crush headed for nothing but crashing.
I know people who can get me his number. I don’t want it. I know the day we’ll save each others contact, the magic on my side will disappear. I would have what I want and that is too easy. I love a good struggle. You are probably thinking I have sent him endless messages (getting no reply as he is too busy with his life), you are plain wrong. The only time I hit the DM was when he requested his followers to play a game with him via his story. Immediately the Q&A session (which was the game) ended, so did the conversation between us though I made sure he knew how I felt about him. There were no pleasantries and zero sparks. That night I slept an excited girl. He has no idea.
On his captions, he writes that he isn’t interested in romantic love. That is a good thing on my part, right? At least no girl can take him from me (I told you I’m clingy). The other version is he might want to keep his private life a secret and I respect that. The only girls’ pictures he posts are his relatives, siblings or friends. It is refreshing. I would be consumed with jealousy if there were any signs of The One.
I am protecting you by not sharing your handle crushie, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind the additional hundred followers but I do, especially if they are of my sex. Oh I admit it, I am protecting myself. Or should I say I am protecting Us? (wink wink)
If you ever happen to meet me or me you, I promise I won’t behave like all these other girls. The ones who hug you after every minute, can’t keep their hands to themselves, you know those whose phone’s battery bar is always full to take endless pictures with instagram celebs? I know how annoying that can be hence I won’t even ask for a selfie. All I want is a few hours of your day, or night, whenever you are available. After the time we will spend together (wherever you decide), this crazy feeling will go away. This perfect little picture of you will go down a notch, you might not know how to tie your laces correctly(just like me😝).


Boyfriend, after reading this break up with me..


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