September is knocking hard ready to strip August off the calendar and reinstate itself as the sole emperor. Birthdays have gone, birthdays coming up. Slowly we are all headed to the end of the world, our destiny. Not a positive thought but it’s a fact that has to be faced. On the same note, students are going back to school. They can’t wait. For those in high school and primary it will be the shortest term of the year for them and for us in campus, well for us in campus..it’s ‘that’ semester.

High school students are counting the number of funkies they will grace. The mail that they will send and receive, on the back and forth of letters to and from various schools. The daring ones are thinking of how to sneak their not-very smart phones into the school compound to keep communicating with their sugar mamas and daddies in the working class. They already know how real the struggle is in the outside world. They want to keep their ‘sources of livelihood’ well secured. Nudes will flow and masturbation have them yearning for the next time they hook up. Their assignments aren’t completed and the few who have bothered to attempt, their books will circulate for the ‘cool’ ones to ‘dab’.

Many are stuffing themselves with the yummy foods their homes provide as school food is regarded yucky. It is prepared as if the cooks were trained in prisons.

For the campus student, the story is very different.

Village wenches undergo metamorphosis and run campuses as divas. They dress up in skimpy dresses and skirts from the long ones mum or shosh forced them to wear over the holidays. Brazilian weaves cover the river washed hair for months now without conditioner. From heavy hoodies, they prove how they were born for cold weather by discarding them, whether rain or shine, the dress code is booty shorts and sports bras. To ‘cover’ up, a long denim shirt is worn and 6 inch heels with fur.

The city bred and those who live in it’s environs, going back to begin the new semester is quite exciting. The freedom will be renewed as they are now spending lonesome nights in their rooms at their parents house. The bashes will start from the first weekend. Clubbing only occurs once in a while, it happens to be costly and they can’t smoke weed in there. They prefer house parties in poorly lit bedsitters of whose ventilation is better off not spoken about. They can afford cheap liquor and several blunts of Cannabis sativa. It is cheaper to roll them up themselves to get the sizes they want.

The ladies man will be requested to do his part and fill the house with girls of various colours and sizes, preferably those who can shake dat ass and can serve them ‘dessert’ after the drugs have set in well. No woman no party. 

Classes will be skipped the entire first month and only fill out during C.A.T days. The brainies with entrepreneur minds will be cashing in thousands from completing assignments of the partyholics. Wines and spirits will make huge sales during weekends as well as the distributors of bhang, not forgetting those who own shisha pots. The internal organs starring liver, lungs and both kidneys will be put to maximum use. Beyond and over.

How could I forget chemists and pharmacies? Emergency pills are a daily bread affair as the sex is rife with loud music covering the moans of two, three ‘intimate’ beings. Luckily for those who use protection, condoms are everywhere. Easily accessible from the bathrooms and refilled if any signs of scarcity shows. The government has really taken care of the issue. In some of the hostels, rubbers are hung in the rooms in case of emergencies. You never know when that moment will arrive..

Freshmen joining campus this year will follow the trend or set higher standards. The dumb ones will be robbed of their money by paying the bills of the fellows in earlier years. They will be thanked with pats on the back and getting a chance to hang with the ‘OGs’.

Those in vast institutions such as K.U. will get lost trying to find their respective classes while their knowledgeable counterparts deceiving them of the exact location withholding the information as if it would add points to their GPA.

The library will ever be empty until examinations begin to draw nearer and then you won’t get the air to breath if you decide that is your hot-spot for passing. Parties will be scarce and those who never attended class will be borrowing notes from those with almost perfect attendance and coming to class early hoping that the lecturer will teach something that will appear in the exams. PDF files will now be the new IG and Snapchat. If everything goes haywire, they at least hope to get a pass by the end of 4 years of pursuing a degree.

Church is a thing of the past. I asked a friend of mine why at home I see pics of him and friends before, during and after in church but in school, he doesn’t do the same. Apparently the religion is his parents, he wants to establish himself differently. And going to church while in campus isn’t his style. His piety only comes when his parents make him go to church. Maybe God is dead.(Astaghfirullah) 

I’m on a cleanse so if you get me on a drugs zone this September, fine me for committing a crime against myself.

Let’s meet in class 🙋

 

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