Entitlement to Enlightement

I am a loner. Come on, don’t feel sorry for me yet. How much can one girl take in one lifetime? The answer is a lot, all that matters is the girl in question. And she happening to be me is more of volunteering than a challenge. Being a loner doesn’t mean I don’t like people around me. My dictionary reads it as, simply loving my own company. It gets real lonely in this world at times. That’s why maybe I’m into long hugs and being held. Please read that correctly, Held. Not touched. I’m not soft enough to be caressed. Being a woman doesn’t automatically guarantee me soft skin.
I love solo partying. That’s hardly a party, right? I dance and sing along to the songs and have no one to bother me or tell me which dance style goes with which verse. I am my own crowd. When I’m with fellow humans though, I’m hardly wild. They tell me I need more drugs to switch on the buttons. I share my head because I know they are bright in my presence. Mine. They are possessive.
As much as I don’t like hanging around people, the vice versa happens a lot. I deal with a lot of people. Meet a lot of them. I really don’t mind. Of late, I want to expand my network and the way to go is through people. I never let down an opportunity to meet new faces, some pleasant others not so pleasant. I accept all sorts of invitations. If I let you down, there is something wrong with you. And you need to fix it real quick.
Usikatae wito, kataa uliloitiwa.
This is where I draw my line. I discard humans out of my life when they take me for granted. Or ask too much of me. I don’t know why all guys think that I would like them sexually. Others become addicted to me. Kissing you doesn’t mean I want you. I might be using you. I have all these kind of needs. Read between the lines. That’s all you got to do! Questions will be streaming in on who has pissed me off this time but that is how I generally feel. But it has happened.
I don’t like good looking guys. I can’t say hate them because I’ll be deceiving all of us and that isn’t right. I want an opportunity to get to heaven you know. They make me fall into temptations. They make me possess them in my mind. As you can tell, it’s not a good thing at all. Why? Because I’m full of ideas. One of those guys came into my life and he changed things for me. My mentality especially. His name is Kay.
We began as basic friends. We are not happily married at the moment๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ We would talk hours on end. I didn’t have much to say anyway. He gave me ideas, explored my options (not what you are thinking but they were included). Around him I thought out of the box, saw the bigger picture. His influence on me is huge. I’m yet to ask him how he knows so much apart from the research he conducts. I respect him. I think he thinks for me sometimes, maybe he’s in my mind ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰
One day, he asked me to write something for him. An article. Adrenaline or endorphins were extremely active that night. I could feel the shivers as I wrote. I came alive. The next morning he came to see me, it was ready. When he finished reading it, we had our first kiss. Then he betrayed me. Kay didn’t keep his end of the deal. My end was to set up a blog(this is how my blog came to be set up, I thank Kay). I had conditioned him but I know he isn’t keeping his word. I forgive him, not because I like him but because he is still doing a lot for me.
This year, he sent me to a talk on financial freedom. At first, the only reason I was going was to get to see him. As usual, he didn’t turn up and I was left to listen to the speakers who weren’t disappointing at all. I’m glad he actually didn’t come. Kay would have distracted me. He knew better than to show up and sit next to me. The closing speech was made by a young lady who had completed the course, Centonomy. You can find their segments on YouTube. Better yet, join me in undertaking it in September, it’s only 6 weeks and classes are on Saturdays, 3 good hours. At a fee, free things are the worst things that can be given to us. Don’t you agree? I can’t wait ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ Back to our young lady. She was hilarious. There was that tint of humour while she spoke. I wish I was like her. If I could get my wishes then then I would be a roller coaster of earthlings at the moment. She went on to tell us how she discovered Centonomy.
Her crush, had taken the course and that is all he kept talking about. She got curious. She wanted to know what it was all about. How she could use it to her advantage (obviously for him to like her) but she ended up being empowered. She didn’t really say if she got the guy eventually. This is just one of the things girls do to get the guy of their dream’s attention. There is too much more.
What’s my point here?
Forget idols, you can have role models. One thing you cannot afford to lack though is a crush. May you get an intelligent one. They will take you places you’ve never been before. Heights you have never thought possible. They will grow you. I’m sapiosexual. I can’t stand people who ain’t smart. I’m attracted to the mind. Looks are just a bonus. If you can’t think on the same level with a person then let them be. You can’t call this diversity. Deal with people who tell you that the sky is actually green and not blue. Not everything is as it seems. Be enlightened!
Break your circle and blow away the chaff.

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