What is your sexual orientation?


Funny as it may seem or strange, I only encountered this definition not so many weeks back. I’m sure there are many others like me out there. You are always in a better place than another person somewhere out there. This is what brings me to my conclusion. Besides we are all learners looking forward to another day to absorb some new information, given our brain can hold up to 5 times more the information available on Wikipedia! It is just amazing how we were created to be self sufficient but we are live searching for avenues to modify our God given abilities.

Back to sexual orientation. Simply it is how you identify yourself either as homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual. The community you live in can highly influence how you come to choose your partners. Your family even worsens matters because in the case where restrictions are made on dating and relationships, then individuals tend to incline towards the not so acceptable kind of relationships. But it’s the 21st century and opinions aren’t really cared for so whether you support that a man shouldn’t date another or you forbid it, those are your own commandments.

Humans have always been very experimental, it is only recently that we are learning of this. In the past, findings were hidden but now with the evolution of the internet and social media, people are more vibrant and easily share their experiences with others of the world. Known or unknown to them. Knowledge is power and lighting another candle doesn’t put out your own light. For example how Kenyans are now discussing the other universal use of the blue Rexona in bedroom matters, initially the manufacturer meant it to be a deodorant.

Necessity is the mother of all inventions, right?

At just the young age of 8/9 I made out with my cousin. And by making out I mean not just these petty kisses that kids share with each other then go around blushing. No. I had clearly watched too many movies or it was just in me to be such a good kisser. I was practicing and was getting better. It became an addiction. Contrary to what you might think, it wasn’t a male cousin. It was a she.

Having little knowledge then as I did, I loved it and never put much thought to it. Now I know I shouldn’t really have gone down that path. I’m not attracted to girls, my mind though can think of the many possibilities.. I could be bisexual for all I know but I tell everyone that I’m straight. I don’t want to be questioned. I want to be taken as ‘normal’ and accepted. It us the ultimatum of living.

My religion completely abolishes incest, homosexuality,adultery, prostitution, rape, fornication, bestiality and all other sexual crimes(that I may be unfamiliar with) and being a believer of the Faith, I’m following the rules. But deep down I know I’m a different person all within. I’m just sitting around waiting to be hoisted by my ‘dear future husband’ and go live happily ever after. After bearing him 2.5 children.

I don’t have male gay friends or  they would rather I don’t know of their sexual fantasies. People see their soul mates in either those of the same gender as them or otherwise. This is particularly difficult for the man as he has been molded to believe that being emotional is weak and it’s for a woman! Women are the weaklings, a real man doesn’t show his emotions.

This is why ladies go ahead and shed tears on their wedding days while the groom looks on and doesn’t seem unfazed by the events of the special day. The same men are those who end up having boyfriends as their cheating partners. Their wife is a cover up. They sire children with them and introduce them to their families but behind the scenes, another man(also in a marriage set up) is their sweetheart. They couldn’t stand up to the society for themselves. I can’t call it cowardly. It’s survival. No one wants to be abandoned by their families and friends because of a minor misunderstanding.

There are those who dare to let in their families, have faced rejection. The consequences of being ‘abnormal’ are dire.

I definitely won’t live to the 22nd century, the best I’ll get is probably 35 more years after 2017. And that is being brutally positive on my side. I don’t even want to live to a hundred years, the world will have transformed so much, old people will be killed anyway. They won’t have a purpose. Abomination will be the vocabulary of the day and that is a life I don’t want to live.

The world will probably end before the 22nd century sets in. There is already too much ‘sin’ depending on how morally upright you are. And what classifies as a free ticket to Hell. If the world sees the 22nd century then there won’t be so much as an ounce of religion or good deeds left, it’s as good as over already. Unless of course humanlings are moved to another planet and life sprayed unto them.

Wait, I don’t want sounding vague or anything but whichever orientation suits you, go for it. Don’t let yourself be jailed by looks from people and their do’s-and-dont’s. If you can manage being gay, straight or none of those, please live your life. One thing you shouldn’t forget is that there is life after. YOLO is bullshit. You’ll be made accountable for your how you lived on the only planet that supports life.

Not all live by the scriptures. Do follow your gut feeling. Life is a journey, do what you want done, go where you want to. If you don’t happen to subscribe to any particular faith, I have even fewer words for you. I appreciate diversity but at times it goes way beyond my expectations. My imagination is quit wild and I can’t begin to comprehend why humans have undergone this much evolution.

For me the transition from apelike creatures to man was quite satisfactory!



6 Comments Add yours

  1. veraomwocha says:

    Mmmh, wild imagination you got girl. Debatable yes, but it’s always nice to exercise our minds.


    1. I’m open to a debate 😊


  2. Nurah Palesa says:

    This made me think to much… 😶


    1. Thank you for reading

      Liked by 1 person

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