Damsel in Distress(DiD)

Society and it’s conformations again. We strive too much to belong, even if it means going against what we have been taught throughout our lifetime. Yes, we want to live the 21st century and not just live it by its literal meaning but really live it. And while doing that, we want others to see that we have made it and pat us on our backs or butts. We want to be accorded respect and recognized as those who live by the Gram or snapchat if you fancy them filters. And this kind of life is what success is defined as.

To my various friends who constantly ask me about relationships and how to deal with such, please keep doing so. It gives me insight and jogs my mind quite a bit. I love that you all think of me as her majestic wisdom distributor (takes a bow).

2017. “It’s almost the end of the year and I don’t think I’m going to achieve what I planned for this year” My damsel texted me for like the umpteenth time this year.

“Getting a boyfriend?” I texted back knowing clearly where her desperation lies since we crossed paths.

“No! Losing my virginity,” she replied in frustration. Even from miles away I know she was huffing at me, her very own rescuer that doesn’t know what her resolutions read. Bummer!

Here we go again. I thought as I racked Brainy for some little help. As much as I try to understand my damsel I can’t. She’s in too much distress. I wonder if this is how I’ll be classifying my clients in counselling a few years to come. Some problems are even more problematic when tried solving. I was no lover of Maths nor Chemistry. Still not.

I don’t understand why everyone has to be named Brian. I have met so many of them, I can no longer tell them apart😂😂

Last year, Rapunzel here met her fair share. They dated for a while or not (I wasn’t fed much detail in this) but he was The One for a while. I was happy for her and her Brian until the day news streamed in that they can’t work it out.

“I study long hours and he wouldn’t understand me,” she sadly wrote to me and I wanted to take the next plane, cover the distance tearing us apart and strangle her. This distress was now just getting to my nerves and she knows how bad that can be 😝😝

We talked on and off about the situation which was worsened by the fact that her two best friends were already in the dating scene or profession. The very ones supposed to journey with her through life. Date at the same time, get married at the same aisle and coax the unknowing hubbies to knock them up on the same time line. That’s what best friends do. But they betrayed her..

Needless to say as her saviour, I’m required to get her out of this ‘mess’. Oh my damsel!

My suggestion for her to get her 2017 to-do-list cleared by simply getting a one night stand, was disregarded as soon as I put it to the table. My idea of a menu simply didn’t suit her taste. Quickly I cleared the table I had pre-aptly set to get my damsel feeling worthy. Ultimate failure looms around me. I can’t save her from the distress that is subjecting her.

She wants to be saved. I tell her everyday that this is no fairytale and boyfriends are even harder to come by. The best you can arrive at is one who pretends to understand the person you are made of midst flirting with other girls. You are not the only girl in the world. Only Rihanna believes a man can make her feel that way. All for a while, all for a while.

My damsel wants to give herself to a man that will offer her emotional attachment. She’s lonely, she wails. And only a partner in the scheme of love can clear that for her. Friends will get busied up in their own affairs. That is why she wants her own man. Who will always be there for her. The irony comes in where she’s so choosy of Mr Right that they slip right through her fingers.

Had we been living in the African traditional society, my damsel will already be happy. Seeing that she’s looking into her twenties, she would be having a husband(double the deal she craves at the moment) and seven to eight children if she was to have one every year. And there my damsel wouldn’t have to envy other women of the ‘village’ who have surprisingly made it in life and left her behind.

Dear Damsel in distress, there you go. After all the meditation I have spent on your ‘drowning you in sadness and loneliness ‘ situation. I have drawn up a plan that will add a few more years to your lifespan.

You are welcome 😊